I heard a thought the other day while I was listening to a podcast that went something along the lines of when you are trying to build a relationship with someone (person or animal) the best way to do that is to give something to the other party first before you ask something from them.
We ask a lot of things from our horses. Let me catch you and ride you. Stand for the farrier or for a bath. Go where I want and do what I want.
But what can we give to our horses? Our horses put their lives in our hands. What can we offer them?
Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:
Food
Horses spending a large amount of their time eating. This is a great time to develop a relationship with your horse because an eating horse is generally a content horse. By spending time with your horse when he is most relaxed, he will begin to associate you with these good feelings and he will learn to trust you and enjoy being around you. It is important to spend time with your horse other than when you are riding him. It is during this time, when you have no particular goal in mind other than to simply enjoy the presence of your horse, that a true relationship is built. I will often stand with my horses while they are grazing or eating their hay. Horses often do this with each other as a way of bonding. Think of it like going out to dinner with a friend or loved one. You get to spend time with that person while sharing in a good meal and the relationship gets strengthened. Giving your horse a few treats at the end of a training session is another great way of bonding by giving him a time of relaxation with you at the end of a work session.
Safety
Horses are prey animals and so their natural reaction to anything that they do not understand is to be fearful. We have taken our horses out of their natural environment and placed them in our human environment where everything is different. It’s like our horse has been placed in a foreign country where he doesn’t speak the language, understand the culture, or know the rules. Everything around him looks different and he doesn’t know what is dangerous and what is not. He doesn’t know how to behave or how to take care of himself in this new environment. Imagine how you would feel in such a situation.
Our horses need someone to guide them and to teach them how stay safe and what is expected of them. They need to learn that they don’t have to be afraid of the things they encounter in this new world, everything from the tools and equipment they see around the barn, cars and other vehicles, wash racks, stalls, blankets, a saddle and bridle, and even a rider. Every new thing could potentially be dangerous in a horse’s mind. A horse needs someone to teach him that these things aren’t going to hurt him. He needs a leader to show him how to behave to stay safe and comfortable.
When a horse has a leader that he can trust to take care of him, it gives him a sense of security. Safety is something that all horses strongly desire. Most of the stress in a horse’s life comes from him being fearful or not understanding something. We can take some of this stress away by teaching him not to be afraid and helping him to understand what is expected of him.
Friendship
Horses are social animals and they enjoy spending time with others whether it is other horses or humans. Horses in a herd will often spend much of their time hanging out with each other. Horses will very often develop strong relationships with each other. They eat together, rest together, play together, and just stand around doing nothing together.
We can develop a strong friendship with our horses through participating in enjoyable activities together. This will look different for each horse, depending on what their preferences are. Maybe it’s a good grooming session or a bath. Or maybe it’s a massage or just standing quietly together in the field. Or for some horses it might be a time of fun, exploring new things or going for a gallop. Try to figure out what your horse enjoys the most and find ways to incorporate that into your routine. Just like doing fun activities together strengthens your human friendships, it will also strengthen your relationship with your horse.
Accomplishment
Have you ever learned something new or accomplished a new skill and felt a sense of pride in yourself? Horses feel the same way when they learn new things. Horses naturally are designed to travel many miles a day searching for food, water, and shelter. Most domestic horses have those things put right in front of them. And so their minds are not stimulated the way they would be in the wild and many horses become bored standing in a field all day. Horses enjoy play and they enjoy learning. They feel pride in themselves when they accomplish something new. Even physically difficult work can be enjoyable if you find ways to make to turn it into a game. When we help our horses to learn new things in a way that is not stressful for them, it gives them confidence in us and themselves and it gives them a sense of pride in themselves.
Our horses give so much to us, it is important that we find ways to give back to them.
Your Thoughts
What ways do you give back to your horse? How can you incorporate some of these ideas into your daily routine with your horse? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Learn More
Interested in learning more about classical horse training? We offer lessons and training at Dover Stables in Waterford, WI and travel throughout the Midwest to do clinics in dressage and liberty training. We also offer a variety of online programs to help you and your horse. Contact us to start your journey towards a better connection with your horse!
